it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
