just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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