Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
