Hey man sorry I got all grabby
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize