I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My ass is underappreciated
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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