it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
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My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
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she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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