He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
