There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
