Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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