Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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