I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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