just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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