are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
