I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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