He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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