census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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