I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
