Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
too bad you live with your parents still
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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