You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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