Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize