We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
