and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
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I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
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He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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