i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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