my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
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I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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