Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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