i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
