I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize