so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
