On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
