We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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