but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.