Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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