Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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