Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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