sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
