i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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