Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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