i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
