Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I enjoy the company of your penis
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
