Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
