I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
