I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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