hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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