No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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