I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
