I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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