I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
