I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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