i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
