You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
