hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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