I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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