they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Still dying that you shit outside
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
