my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
