Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
And the cops told us we were all naked.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
