Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
