Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize