I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Terrible idea I love it
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
