The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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