When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
