Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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